They should eliminate keys altogether and fill the void with one of the following instruments:
1. Turntables - Ru-r-ru-r-ru-rufus breaks my balls y\'all!
2. Cello - Would sound great on Fairy, Vera Street, and Wild Pack of Asscracks
3. Lead Singer (vox only) - The music is ready, the band is really just one rock star away from sold-out $80-$200 tickets every show.
4. Mandolin - It\'s all about Bouree
5. 2nd bass player - Imagine...in mid-jam Ron and bass player #2 walk to the front center of the stage... One lays down a sick line, the other starts slap-soloing furiously... Then they switch... Then they both go off... The crowd goes bananas... yes, the possibilites are endless.
6. Trombone - Jed Kordell\'s trombone stint on Sgt. Pepper\'s is the most underrated guest appearance in band history.
7. Hammer Dulcimer - Speaking of underrated, why not become the only band to feature the world\'s most underrated instrument? Wouldn\'t you
have to see "that band with the hammer dulcimer guy?"
8. Choir - Imagine the soaring, epic gospel vocal climaxes in What The Funk, Drunk Monk Bar, and Tricky Ways. Sure it\'ll be tough for 40 people to split 1 band member\'s pay a night, but the promise of the instant international stardom of being The Breakfast\'s choir should offset that.
I mean c\'mon...everyone does keyboards. Let\'s get creative here people!