Penile Padlock

[lisa]

Police: Man\'s Testicles Locked In Padlock
Man Could Not Remove Lock For Two Weeks


BRENTWOOD, N.H. -- Emergency workers helped a New Hampshire man out of a difficult situation over the weekend after a friend apparently locked a padlock around his testicles.
According to the Portsmouth Herald, police reported that the 39-year-old man was intoxicated when they arrived at the scene on July 30 at about 3:40 a.m. The man, who was not identified, told them that he had the padlock around his testicles for two weeks.
The man said that a friend put the lock on while he was drunk and passed out. When he woke up, the friend was gone.
"Never in my 13 years have I seen anything like this," Cpl. H.D. Wood told the Herald.  The man told police that he tried to remove the lock with a hacksaw because the key had broken off in the lock.  He was taken to Exeter Hospital, where a locksmith removed the padlock. He was treated and released, and the hospital said he had no lasting injury.

Police said that they did not know the motive for the incident.


is that a padlock in your pocket...?!
too ridiculous

[Spacey]

I knew there was something wrong with those New Hampshire folks.

Gives a whole new meaning to "Live free or die"

[Jim Cobb]

reason #8972632187 that i dont drink anymore.

[kyndkate]

Jim, that\'s unfortunate...

[Spacey]

this is a great example of why you don\'t pass out before your friends.

[SlimPickens]

there\'s some crazy ass folk living in that state.  Bezerker, that\'s a subtle reference to you.

[Ant-Man]

Ya, I agree.  They breed em totally different up there, some inbread to.  

[skalnbyc]

there\'s some crazy ass folk living in that state.  Bezerker, that\'s a subtle reference to you.

Also one of the most peaceful states, where people treat each other with more respect and friendiness than their Massachusetts neighbors, though I wouldn\'t want to live there.

[Spacey]

maybe it\'s just me, but I know that if a "friend" of mine put a padlock on my testi\'s when I was passed out drunk and he was gone in the morning, I would be hunting down that mofo and breaking that padlock off over his skull.

Why did the dude leave it on for 2 weeks?

I might be calling shenanigans on this one, I think this guy has some sick fetish.
Llike I said, the moment I woke up and discovered a padlock on my nuts, I would be searching for this "friend" not waiting to weeks for it to be taken off.

[SlimPickens]

there\'s some crazy ass folk living in that state.  Bezerker, that\'s a subtle reference to you.

Also one of the most peaceful states, where people treat each other with more respect and friendiness than their Massachusetts neighbors, though I wouldn\'t want to live there.

NH does have it\'s nice points, but like many places it definitely has it\'s seedy underbelly.  That\'s what really keeps me going back there.  Oh, that and the always present dream that Seabrook Nuclear Power will have a meltdown while I\'m on the beach.  I wonder what my superpowers will be??

Massholes, enough said.

maybe it\'s just me, but I know that if a "friend" of mine put a padlock on my testi\'s when I was passed out drunk and he was gone in the morning, I would be hunting down that mofo and breaking that padlock off over his skull.

Why did the dude leave it on for 2 weeks?

I might be calling shenanigans on this one, I think this guy has some sick fetish.
Llike I said, the moment I woke up and discovered a padlock on my nuts, I would be searching for this "friend" not waiting to weeks for it to be taken off.

I\'m thinking there\'s definitely more to that story.  Crappy reporting!

[ChrisF]

I\'m thinking there\'s definitely more to that story.  Crappy reporting!

is this even something that NEEDS to be reported? :lol:

How much do you think the locksmith charged? probably about 100 times what it would normally cost to get a broken lock like that open. i would love to hear the locksmiths reaction when he got the phone call. i would never believe a story like that because locksmiths probably get prank phone calls every once in a while.

[Spacey]

I\'m thinking there\'s definitely more to that story.  Crappy reporting!

is this even something that NEEDS to be reported? :lol:

How much do you think the locksmith charged? probably about 100 times what it would normally cost to get a broken lock like that open. i would love to hear the locksmiths reaction when he got the phone call. i would never believe a story like that because locksmiths probably get prank phone calls every once in a while.

 :lol:

so true

[SlimPickens]

lesson learned for all you crazy pervs out there, always use a combination lock when you\'re securing up your junk.

[ChrisF]

lesson learned for all you crazy pervs out there, always use a combination lock when you\'re securing up your junk.

the broken off key makes me think his story is legit.

[Spacey]

It\'s not that I don\'t think his story isn\'t legit. I just think that the "friend" doesn\'t exist, but this also raises another question, why would he break the key off if he did it himself.

The man, who was not identified, told them that he had the padlock around his testicles for two weeks.
The man said that a friend put the lock on while he was drunk and passed out. When he woke up, the friend was gone.

I would hate to be the detective investigating this one.
This is one strange fucking story.