supposedly this was written by phil lesh, but who knows.. anyways, it\'s beautiful:
As of today, I am strangely detached from the reality
of the news. But I want to pass something along for
those who may need it: the ability to feel what I
attempt to describe below in the final sentences of
this writing - if indeed, you are one of the fortunate
and can feel it - will never leave, and will never
become any less vivid.
I have a different persective than many of you - what
is happening to you today happend to me, in a
different form, in August of 1995, when Jerry died.
The pain subsides, new routines and musical fixes are
found, some family stays with you and some does not -
but I am here to tell you that the detail never
leaves. On most Phish nights, when the lights dimmed,
I always had my eyes closed, and was again watching
Jerry walk out. Those stolen moments were never sad,
but always ecstatic for me. The energy, and the
passion never fade. The love never dims. The lessons
become clearer, and the music even sweeter. You\'ll
see. In decades to come, the little trick I try to use
below, at the end of this self indulgence, will work
just as well . . .
Regarding Phish: You\'ve gotten what you paid for. And
you got off cheap.
Regardless of how much you paid - to Phish Inc.
directly, to the scene, in your relationships, with
your health or soul - you\'re in on the bargain of the
century. You bought the stock at .01 a share, and have
sold it at 1,000.00 per. Perhaps you don\'t know this .
. .
Now, the incidental fringe benefits are not to be
overlooked, nor disrespected: friends, lovers,
spouses, self-knowledge, expanded compassion, honed
capitalist skills, an amazing cd collection, travel,
adversity defeats and victories, maturation, blessed
emotional retarding to the joyous child-like levels,
and of course, lots and lots and lots of really
freakin\' amazing music.
But. Allow me to remind you of the Great Intangible.
Of the Priceless Gift that you perhaps weren\'t even
aware you\'d received - of the Holy (in all that that
word evokes for you) Unarticulable: The Magic.
I cannot describe it. I cannot relate it to a
particular show, or to my or your favorite YEM or Tube
or Divided Sky. It is beyond definition, beyond grasp,
beyond description, and beyond value. But not - never
ever ever - beyond perception. Here it is:
It is preceeded by that moment, as you wait for the
lights to go down - you know it will be any second
now, and its killing you in the bestest possible way,
as if you were 6 years old at 5am on Christmas Morn -
and the earthly realm and its horribly heavy (and
light) luggage are about to melt away, completely. In
what surely is the most tremendous understatement in
the history of human language, you consciously or
unconsciously feel and think: "All is right. There is
no where in the universe I would rather be right now."
Then, the Great Inarticulable - you can hear it RIGHT
NOW, as loud as if you were in the moment, as real as
its ever been, capable of literally raising the hair
on the back of your neck, and hardening your nipples,
at *this very second*. See if you got what you paid
for all these years, and then some. Right now, quiet
your head for a second, close your eyes, and imagine:
The lights go down. The crowds roars, to the point of
physical and aural immersion, and the energy - The
Magic - fills your very DNA.
Did you hear it? If you\'re one of the lucky ones, The
Magic resonates so clearly in memory that it is as
real for you at your desk right now that it ever was
in any venue you\'ve visited. And if so, you got so
much more than you ever bargained for. Congratulations
on your fine, fine, unintended purchase. It carries a
lifetime satisfaction guaranteed warranty.
Grateful,
-p.
