Author Topic: TP Poll  (Read 9691 times)

Lerherbles

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« on: December 21, 2008, 12:36:50 pm »
Ok, I need a vote.  How do you set up your toilet paper roll? Dispense form the Top or Bottom?

My vote is top.

jocelyn

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« Reply #1 on: December 21, 2008, 12:42:04 pm »
Top, clearly.
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mcajam

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« Reply #2 on: December 21, 2008, 12:47:17 pm »
"toilet paper hung in improper overhand fashion..."
"Well, sometimes nuthin\' can be a real cool hand.."

bdfreetuna

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« Reply #3 on: December 21, 2008, 01:06:04 pm »
I stick the rolls on top of the toilet lid. Sometimes its tough to bend around and reach them. But its a tight space in there.

Otherwise I have no preference because I am not a woman who cares about these kinds of things ;)
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Igziabeher

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« Reply #4 on: December 21, 2008, 01:14:15 pm »
i like to put my roll by the sink where its just out of reach of short armed people.

jocelyn

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« Reply #5 on: December 21, 2008, 01:18:56 pm »
This stuff works pretty well:

http://s169.photobucket.com/albums/u226/sepiacuttlefish/?action=view¤t=tp.jpg" target="_blank">http://i169.photobucket.com/albums/u226/sepiacuttlefish/tp.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket">
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peaches626

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« Reply #6 on: December 21, 2008, 01:19:18 pm »
i use sand paper to make sure i don\'t miss any chunks.
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Todd

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« Reply #7 on: December 21, 2008, 03:04:07 pm »
What is this toilet paper stuff you speak of?
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ds673488

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« Reply #8 on: December 21, 2008, 03:20:49 pm »
bidet is the way
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jocelyn

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« Reply #9 on: December 21, 2008, 03:25:23 pm »
Seriously I don\'t understand Americans\' fear of the bidet. We use water to wash everything else, except the place that probably could really use a good rinse. Would you think your dishes were clean if you just wiped them off with a paper towel?
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ds673488

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« Reply #10 on: December 21, 2008, 03:27:12 pm »
most middle eastern people use a watering can, i dicovered a few weeks ago
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FrankZappa

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« Reply #11 on: December 21, 2008, 06:28:48 pm »
am I the only one who thought this thread was going to have something to do with Tim Palmieri?
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sconnie4satan

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« Reply #12 on: December 21, 2008, 08:28:55 pm »
Quote from: FrankZappa;214233
am I the only one who thought this thread was going to have something to do with Tim Palmieri?


no.
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It\'s just a drag when you\'re the last one to know.

TeddyT

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« Reply #13 on: December 21, 2008, 09:02:01 pm »
In some third-world countries, having toilet paper is a luxury. It is normal to go in a field, drop a duece, and then use a rock to wipe your ass. Trick is to find three or four good rocks before you take a squat.

SlimPickens

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Essential Life Lesson #1: Over is Right, Under is Wrong
« Reply #14 on: December 21, 2008, 09:48:50 pm »
Quote
As part of our ongoing effort here at Current Configuration to make your life not only better, but also 10% more crunchy, we’re offering you this first installment of what will be an ongoing series of Essential Life Lessons. Kicking off this series will be a critical but even-handed examination of a common misunderstanding that occurs in a realm of many misunderstandings: the bathroom.

Put simply, there is a right way to hang the toilet paper, and a wrong way. Read on to determine the status of your own roll.

Toilet paper has a natural curve, a way of being that lends itself to certain orientations on the toilet paper spool.* If handled with skill and knowledge, it can provide an abundance of both sanitation and comfort, quilted together in each square of pillowy ply. If handled with clumsy ignorance, or worse, carelessness, it will beset the user with pain, filth, and frustration. Don’t let it end this way, with you curled on the tile floor of the stall, weeping in frustration, covered in wasted papier de toilette. To convince you, we’ve created some diagrams, harnessing the power of SCIENCE, to demonstrate the natural benefits of the over hanging method. First, we examine the optimal viewing benefits of the over hanging method.

Below are examples of the helpful and fruitful over-hung method on the left and the annoying and detrimental under-hung method on the right.


Notice the dramatic difference in the amount of visible toilet paper. Ironically, it is the over-hung toilet paper that has both the most visible free sheetage and the least amount of sheetage free from the roll to do it. Now, this may not seem like a big deal on its own, but in these extra sheets lies your undoing. Observe.

We here at Current Configuration, for the purposes of ease and expediency, do the one-handed tear (okay, really, it’s just me, but bear with me, er, us). The one-handed tear is a quick maneuver that takes advantage of the perforated squares, allowing your bundle of toilet paper to be liberated with one quick swipe of the arm. This is the foundation of bathroom ease, the cottony bedrock on which enjoyment rests in the restrooms of many nations.

The one-handed tear relies on a quick and forceful motion directed either away from or towards the tear-er. The forces applied in this motion are great and, like the atom, are not to be trifled with. The natural curve of the over-hung method allows the roll to stand fast after a one-handed tear, but the under-hung method creates a calamitous tendency in the roll. This tendency can only lead to this:

Wasted paper, frustration, the destruction of our forests. While we realize that it is possible to execute a one-handed tear on an under-hung roll, this is a game of sanitary Russian roulette. You are bound to lose eventually, and there is no re-rolling an unwound toilet paper roll. The results will only cause you grief. Don’t let this happen to you. Restroom attendants, janitors, maids, facilities crews, and responsible toiletowners take note: Don’t use the under-hung method for your toilet paper rolls. It leads to the destruction of our precious resources and the pillars of civilization as we know it!

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