hello all,
today, a huge part of me is missing. for those of you who knew her, we had to put Amber to sleep yesterday. it was the hardest thing i\'ve ever done in my life, and it hasn\'t even really hit me yet. i still expect to see her every time i get up and walk around the corner..
something happened saturday morning while i was out, and her back legs just stopped working. she didn\'t seem like she was in pain, but she couldn\'t get up, and i could tell she was scared. she wouldn\'t eat anything but cookies on saturday..
if you knew amber, you knew that no matter how old she was, she always acted like she was a puppy. it was no different right up to the end. i stayed with her all day saturday, and slept on the floor next to her saturday night. all she did was smother me with kisses. i was up most of the night, helping her get up to go to the bathroom, giving her water, etc...
i kinda knew it was time though. she\'s been through so much in the past couple years, and has been nothing but strong - fighting through everything that came her way. but i couldn\'t put her through any more surgery/recovery/etc, and the way she lived on saturday would be no way to live.
it\'s one of those things where i don\'t think she would have ever died on her own. she still had so much life and love in her, but her arthritis made her back legs give out long before her heart. we brought her to the vet around 1:00pm on sunday, spent a lot of time hugging, kissing, talking... her spirits never got down - that made it SO hard... the doctor came in and asked if we were ready.. i wasn\'t, but i never would have been. i held her in my arms, and she gave me 2 big kisses before she went to sleep. we spent the next 15 minutes in the room alone with her, crying...
coming home was even harder, because i knew i was gonna walk in the door and she wouldn\'t be here. everything in this house is her. the food bowls, the leash, the barricades for the bathroom and the kitchen, the rugs on the floors - everything. i lost it when we got home. and i\'ve been on and off since.. i\'ll just start thinking about things, and get hysterical for about 5 minutes, then be ok.. i\'m not sure if/when this will get easier. i miss her so much. for almost 15 years, she\'s brought a smile to my face, day in and day out. she\'s been through absolutely everything with me. i\'ve definitely lost my best friend.
so, remember Amber today. whether it was the time she stole an entire slice of pizza out of your hand, or the time she soaked your gamecube controller because she wouldn\'t stop kissing your hand... the next time you\'re here, a big part of this place won\'t be here.
AmberJanuary 17, 1989 - October 12, 2003
[b]The Rainbow Bridge[/b]
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet
goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run
and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and
comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor;
those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we
remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each
miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops
and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body
quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green
grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet,
you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy
kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and
you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from
your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
Author unknown...
