valentine\'s day fun

[Me!]

Once again when I should be working,
found some silly shit for the day.

dear john letter generator

The erudite laborer\'s cries of romance

The Alt.Suicide.Holiday Valentine\'s Day Survival Kit

can you tell I\'m bored???

[Spacey]

nice, me!, nice.

[derickw]

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
   This describes everything you are not.
   ************************************
   Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
   But I only slept with you, because I was pissed.
   ************************************
   I thought that I could love no other
   Until, that is, I met your brother.
   *************************************
   Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and
   so are you.
   But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the
   sugar bowl\'s empty and so is your head
   *************************************
   Of loving beauty you float with grace
   If only you could hide your face.
   **************************************
   I want to feel your sweet embrace
   But don\'t take that paper bag off of your face.
   **************************************
   I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
   Damn, I\'m good at telling lies!
   ***************************************
   My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
   Marrying you screwed up my life.
   ***************************************
   I see your face when I am dreaming.
   That\'s why I always wake up screaming.
   ***************************************
   My love, you take my breath away.
   What have you stepped in to smell this way?
   ****************************************
   My feelings for you no words can tell
   Except for maybe "Go To Hell."
   *****************************************
   What inspired this amorous rhyme?
   Two parts vodka, one part lime

[Me!]

:lol: that\'s great!

[derickw]

i can\'t help but laugh every time i look through these

[Spacey]

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.

sorry it had to be done

[Me!]

my dear john letter.....  god I\'m soooo bored!!

Dear Passive Aggressive Closet Case,

By the time you read this, I\'ll be blowing your best friend. I\'m sorry for doing this but, you left me no other choice. I know this might comes as a bit of a brain aneurysm to you - especially because you\'re an emotional cripple. But I\'m sorry – I just need hot sex with someone who isn\'t a human potato sack. I think you\'re a schmuck, but I don\'t think we\'re right for each other. First of all, we\'re not compatible. You\'re a German Scat Aficionado, and I\'m not. You like declawed rodentia colonics, you eat inorganic produce, and enjoy Aqua Velva, and I don\'t like any of these things. Your favorite movie is Glitter, and your favorite band is N SYNCH. Do you even know what my favorite movie or band is? I once asked you what color my eyes are and you said "Nuke me some fucking hash browns!". Anyway, I want to date someone with the same sticky groinal parts as me. But you know what? I still want to be dead to you. We can totally forget the other is alive . We had some good times, or so it looks on the videotape (even though I\'m passed out) . But please, don\'t get all John Wayne Gacy like last time. That means no spiteful genital tattoos. And look - I won\'t even make an issue out of the $37,229 you owe me, or the fact that you punched my grandmother. So take care of yourself - and choke on your own vomit.

Eat Shit,

me!

P.S. I faked every orgasm.