This article supposedly ran late in 1998 in the Advocate in Red Deer, Canada. While there apparently is such a newspaper in Red Deer, Canada, (Red Deer Advocate, 2950 BremnerAv Red Deer T4R-1P7 (403)343-2400), I really haven\'t checked any further than that and don\'t even know whether there is a Stettler, Canada.... but the story is too good to ruin by checking the facts. Man eats underwear to beat breathalyzerof The Advocate By D\'Arcy RickardSTETTLER -- An 18-year old Stettler man tried to eat his underwear in the hope that the cotton fabric would absorb alcohol before he took a breathalyzer test, provincial court heard this week. David Zurfluh was subsequently acquitted of a charge of impaired driving because he blew .08, the legal limit. But the testimony broke up people in Judge David MacNaughton\'s provincial court here Thursday afternoon. Mr. Zurfluh was collared by RCMP Const. Bill Robinson after he ran from his vehicle, which had been seen weaving down the highway. While sitting in the back of the patrol car, Mr. Zurfluh tried to eat his shorts, Const. Robinson told the court. Mr. Zurfluh said he ripped the crotch out of his shorts, stuffed the fabric in his mouth and then spit it out. A class of law students from William E. Hay Composite High, in court as observers, was removed by the teacher when testimony enlivened the proceedings. The Grade 11 and 12 students had difficulty maintaining composure. "People were leaving the courtroom with tears in their eyes, trying not to laugh," said RCMP Const. Peter McFarlane.
