http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/Dude, I woke up at my ex\'s house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
(303): How was Boulder?
(720): We\'re still here. We can\'t find _____.
(303): How\'d you lose him?
(720): He ate a bag of Molly, wondered off, and keeps calling saying he\'s at the zoo feeding the tigers
(720): The zoo is 60 miles away and we called just to be sure - they don\'t let people feed the tigers
(925): so explain again why im purple
(617): no
(619): Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
you\'re welcome!! :biggrin:
(512): I pooped in a mop bucket.
(1-512): WTF???
(512): Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
"My room smells like vodka and shame"
^Best text ever
(765): just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn\'t look away.
(360): I was taking a
**** and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
(360): I was taking a **** and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
sounds like every night of my short stint in college.