Before you order a drink in public, you should read this!
Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman\'s personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.
The results:
Drink: Beer
Personality: Causal, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.
Drink: Blender Drinks
Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the ass.
Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabana boy.
Drink: Mixed Drinks
Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, has very picky taste; knows EXACTLY what she wants.
Your Approach: You won\'t have to approach her. If she\'s interested, she\'ll send YOU a drink..................
Drink: Wine (does not include White Zinfandel)
Personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated yet giggles.
Your Approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet evenings with friends.
Drink: White Zinfandel
Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually, she has NO clue.
Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...this should be an easy target.
Drink: Shots
Personality: Likes to hang with frat-boy pals and looking to get
totally drunk... and naked.
Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed. Nothing to do but wait, however, be careful not to make her mad!
Drink: Tequila
No explanations required - everyone just KNOWS what happens there.
THEN, there is the MALE addendum ----
The deal with guys is, as always, very simple and clear cut:
Domestic Beer: He\'s poor and wants to get laid.
Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid .
Wine: He is hoping that the wine will give him a sophisticated image to help him get laid.
Whiskey: He doesn\'t give a damn about anything but getting laid.
Tequila: He is thinking he has a chance with the toothless waitress.
White Zinfandel: He\'s gay!
what does it say for the guy standing by all the recording equipment with a wedding ring and a glass of coke?
Designated Driver who already got laid?
To add a few from my own experience:
Chicks who order faux martinis*=white zin.
A faux martini is any drink called a ______ martini, but features neither gin nor vermouth. This absolutley kills me. Some 20 year old ding bat thinking she\'s all Sex in the City ordering a chocolate martini. A chocolate martini @ most bars features Hershey\'s syrup. Very sophistico.
Another time this girl ordered a martini and told me I didn\'t know what I was doing when I reached for the gin \'\'...uh, a martini has vodka in it, not gin!". Oooookey.
Guys make fools of themselves over the price more than the drink. One of my fav. bar co-workers had this classic interaction:
Customer: Hey what\'s cheap here?
Bartender: You mean besides you?
i\'ll have a Shirley Temple, no ice
excuse me could i have another cherry?
White Zinfandel
No wonder why everyone looks at me funny when I order this.
this thread is so funny b/c its true!!
they shouldve added one for those who order those "malternative" drinks like smirnoff ice or mikes hard liquor- HUGE D-BAG.
this thread is so funny b/c its true!!
they shouldve added one for those who order those "malternative" drinks like smirnoff ice or mikes hard liquor- HUGE D-BAG.
That reminds me of Zima. you guys remember that stuff ?
this thread is so funny b/c its true!!
they shouldve added one for those who order those "malternative" drinks like smirnoff ice or mikes hard liquor- HUGE D-BAG.
That reminds me of Zima. you guys remember that stuff ?
do i ever!! tim and i were telling some hilarious zima stories just this weekend! rotfl
Remembered a few more
Customer: Do you know how make a gin and tonic?
Bartender: If I didn\'t I do now.
YaleCustomer: I\'ll have 5 "dollar drafts". How much will that be?
Bartender: $8.50
MaleCustomer: Gimme a Midori sour, and make strong!
Bartender: Well which it\'ll be?
MC: Huh?
How about Miller High Life Lite, because 12-pack bottles are $5.99 at the local distributor?
