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Author Topic: Drinks Show Your Personality  (Read 4557 times)

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Drinks Show Your Personality
« on: »
Before  you order a drink in public, you should read this!  

Seven  New  York City  bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman\'s personality based on what  she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all  counts.

The  results:  

Drink:  Beer
Personality: Causal, low-maintenance; down to  earth.
Your Approach:  Challenge her to a game of pool.


Drink:  Blender Drinks
Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in  the ass.
Your Approach:  Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabana boy.  


Drink:  Mixed Drinks
Personality: Older, more refined, high  maintenance, has very picky taste; knows EXACTLY what she wants.
Your  Approach:  You won\'t have to approach her. If she\'s interested, she\'ll send YOU a  drink..................


Drink:  Wine (does  not include White Zinfandel)
Personality:  Conservative and classy; sophisticated yet giggles.
Your Approach:  Tell  her you love to travel and spend quiet evenings with  friends.


Drink:  White Zinfandel
Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and  sophisticated, actually, she has NO clue.
Your  Approach:  Make her feel smarter than she is...this should be an easy  target.


Drink:  Shots  
Personality: Likes to hang with frat-boy pals and  looking to get
totally drunk... and naked.
Your Approach:  Easiest  hit in the joint. You have been blessed. Nothing to do but wait, however, be  careful not to make her mad!


Drink:  Tequila
No explanations required - everyone just KNOWS what  happens there.




THEN,  there is the MALE addendum ----
The deal with guys is, as always, very  simple and clear cut:


Domestic  Beer:  He\'s  poor and wants to get  laid.


Imported  Beer:  He likes good beer and wants to get  laid  .


Wine:  He is hoping that the wine will give him a sophisticated image to help him  get  laid.  


Whiskey:  He doesn\'t give a damn about anything but getting  laid.


Tequila:  He is thinking he has a chance with the toothless waitress.  


White  Zinfandel:  He\'s gay!
Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright...until you hear them speak.

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Drinks Show Your Personality
« Reply #1 on: »
what does it say for the guy standing by all the recording equipment with a wedding ring and a glass of coke?

Designated Driver who already got laid?
"i heard that after he crossed the finish line he proceeded to wrestle down and pin a full sized grizzly bear"- ds673488

"if i listened to the distance on repeat, i\'d be wearing yellow jerseys like a motherfucker" - zuke

Drinks Show Your Personality
« Reply #2 on: »
Quote from: FrankZappa
what does it say for the guy standing by all the recording equipment with a wedding ring and a glass of coke?

Designated Driver who hardly ever gets laid?
Fixed it for ya!! :D
Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright...until you hear them speak.

Drinks Show Your Personality
« Reply #3 on: »
says you. ;)
"i heard that after he crossed the finish line he proceeded to wrestle down and pin a full sized grizzly bear"- ds673488

"if i listened to the distance on repeat, i\'d be wearing yellow jerseys like a motherfucker" - zuke

Drinks Show Your Personality
« Reply #4 on: »
Quote from: Todd
Drink:  Beer
Personality: Causal, low-maintenance; down to  earth.
Your Approach:  Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink:  Tequila (aka **** Toes)
No explanations required - everyone just KNOWS what  happens there.
:that: rotfl rotfl
?Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. ?[/color]

Drinks Show Your Personality
« Reply #5 on: »
To add a few from my own experience:

Chicks who order faux martinis*=white zin.

A faux martini is any drink called a ______ martini, but features neither gin nor vermouth.  This absolutley kills me.  Some 20 year old ding bat thinking she\'s all Sex in the City ordering a chocolate martini.  A chocolate martini @ most bars features Hershey\'s syrup.  Very sophistico.
Another time this girl ordered a martini and told me I didn\'t know what I was doing when I reached for the gin \'\'...uh, a martini has vodka in it, not gin!".  Oooookey.

Guys make fools of themselves over the price more than the drink.  One of my fav. bar co-workers had this classic interaction:

Customer: Hey what\'s cheap here?

Bartender: You mean besides you?
A man who has seen the things I have seen,
experienced the loss and pain I have experienced,
I transcend race, hombre.

Drinks Show Your Personality
« Reply #6 on: »
Quote from: Todd
Quote from: FrankZappa
what does it say for the guy standing by all the recording equipment with a wedding ring and a glass of coke?

Designated Driver who hardly ever gets laid?
Fixed it for ya!! :D


:that:
never trouble trouble till trouble troubles you

-. --- .-- / - .... .- - ... / -.. .. -.-. -.-

Drinks Show Your Personality
« Reply #7 on: »
i\'ll have a Shirley Temple, no ice
excuse me could i have another cherry?
caress me, aunt jemima

Drinks Show Your Personality
« Reply #8 on: »
Quote from: Todd
White Zinfandel

No wonder why everyone looks at me funny when I order this.
Love many, trust few and don\'t be late.

Drinks Show Your Personality
« Reply #9 on: »
Quote from: wildcoyote
Customer: Hey what\'s cheap here?

Bartender: You mean besides you?
rotfl rotfl
Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright...until you hear them speak.

Drinks Show Your Personality
« Reply #10 on: »
this thread is so funny b/c its true!!
they shouldve added one for those who order those "malternative" drinks like smirnoff ice or mikes hard liquor- HUGE D-BAG.
"After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music." -Aldous Huxley

Drinks Show Your Personality
« Reply #11 on: »
Quote from: estahwhaddup
this thread is so funny b/c its true!!
they shouldve added one for those who order those "malternative" drinks like smirnoff ice or mikes hard liquor- HUGE D-BAG.


That reminds me of Zima. you guys remember that stuff ?
"You can bet everything will come to an end. It's going to be ugly and it's going to be a mess, and it's going to be something that somebody did in the name of God...."

    Frank Zappa, Artist as Genetic Design Flaw,
    Ecolibrium Interviews, Vol #19

Drinks Show Your Personality
« Reply #12 on: »
Quote from: kindm\'s
Quote from: estahwhaddup
this thread is so funny b/c its true!!
they shouldve added one for those who order those "malternative" drinks like smirnoff ice or mikes hard liquor- HUGE D-BAG.


That reminds me of Zima. you guys remember that stuff ?

do i ever!! tim and i were telling some hilarious zima stories just this weekend! rotfl

Drinks Show Your Personality
« Reply #13 on: »
Remembered a few more

Customer: Do you know how make a gin and tonic?
Bartender: If I didn\'t I do now.

YaleCustomer: I\'ll have 5 "dollar drafts".  How much will that be?
Bartender: $8.50

MaleCustomer: Gimme a Midori sour, and make strong!
Bartender: Well which it\'ll be?
MC: Huh?
« Last Edit: April 28, 2006, 07:18:16 pm by wildcoyote »
A man who has seen the things I have seen,
experienced the loss and pain I have experienced,
I transcend race, hombre.

Drinks Show Your Personality
« Reply #14 on: »
How about Miller High Life Lite, because 12-pack bottles are $5.99 at the local distributor?
Go see your Breakfast, there are starving Leiths in California