This is so absurd, only the BFam could appreciate. The follow e-mails were sent to the entire contingent of Fairfield seniors living at the beach (roughly 200 heads). The names have been changed to protect the innocent and the terminally bitchy.
My fellow Seniors,
It has been brought to my attention that some people in our grade
believe that this friday begins Halloween Weekend. This is not
accurate. However, this Friday is my 21st birthday. Halloweeen Weekend
truly begins this SATURDAY (at the [house name])!! DO NOT wear costumes to
The Grape on Friday! It will look silly since its my birthday and not
Halloween Weekend yet.
Thanks for your cooperation,
"gladys"
Here is what followed not but one hour later.
Dear Ms. Theworldrevolvesaroundme,
First of all, we would like to thank you for informing us on the
TRUE logistics of halloween. Had it not been for your unselfish
guidance, we as a whole senior class would have greatly embarrassed
ourselves and "looked silly" by celebrating such a joyous occasion
prematurely by one day.
Although attending your birthday party sounds extremely tempting,
we regret to inform you that there is absolutely no way we can make it
: (
For those of you who also "can\'t make it" The [house name] will
be sponsoriing a Halloween "should be celebrated whenever you feel like
it, even if it happens to fall on someone\'s birthday" Party for
seniors. If you would like to help collaborate, or just participate, im
sure you can find ways to contact us for the details. Perhaps we can
have a costume party early, followed by a costume parade to the grape??
just a thought...let us know.
PS HAPPY BIRTHDAY "gladys pimp"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sincerely,
GD
TG
CM
MB
Dear Ms. I am a halloween nazi,
All of the girls here at the [house name] would like to
regretfully inform you that WE WILL be attending the [house name]\'s
Halloween "should be celebrated whenever you feel like
it, even if it happens to fall on someone\'s birthday" party followed by
the COSTUME parade to the grape!! We\'re pretty sure Halloween weekend
starts whenever we want it to and we weren\'t aware that it was a
requirement to celebrate your birthday. We\'ll be seeing you on friday
in your costume..?
Dear Halloween Devil,
All of the girls at the [house name] second the [house name] and the [house name]\'s comments. The Halloween "should be celebrated whenever
you feel like it, even if it falls on someone\'s birthday" party and the
costume parade at the Grape afterwards will be a great way to start off
Halloween Weekend and not your birthday. Best of luck to you and your
boring, costume-less Friday night.
Sincerely,
CN
JM
AF
JG
CM
LM
Ahhh... shenanigans. If only I wasn\'t going to be at FF8, I would definitely be in costume at the bar on Friday.
yeah, college kids are geigh.
as someone who was born the day after halloween (my mommy went into labor on halloween night), i would have to say that this girl is a
**** moron not to embrace the holiday. i love that my birthday is right in the midst of my favorite holiday season of the year. the girl sounds like a
****, you guys should ruin her birthday party.
as someone who was born the day after halloween (my mommy went into labor on halloween night), i would have to say that this girl is a **** moron not to embrace the holiday. i love that my birthday is right in the midst of my favorite holiday season of the year. the girl sounds like a ****, you guys should ruin her birthday party.
May I be the first to wish you a happy birthday mama! :banana:
Oh, and that girl is a total
****. I hope she feels like an ass right now.
Twelve more e-mails this morning... if they were anything nominally different than wha is posted above, I would share the wealth. Just trust me, this girl has made herself the most hated person at Fairfield U... and that\'s tough to do, what with all the
**** she has to contend with.
It\'s good to be king and just sit back and watch the peasants entertain you. :drew:
Hey Drew...great nast y idea I just thought of to tell the ones not going to Toad\'s.
Make a cake. (or buy a cheap one) Hollow out a little of the bottom in the middle. Insert fake hand on a short stick from the bottom. Bring to bar in full costume. Light candles and bring over to said anti-holiday
**** singing happy birthday the whole way. At the end of the song appologize for not wanting to celebrate her birthday. When she leans over to blow out candles, forcefully push the hand up through top of cake into her face!!!
I\'m a dick aren\'t I??? rotfl
Disclaimer- I take no responsibility for what takes place next. Nor do I if the placer of the candles puts them too close to the middle of the cake causing said
****\'s face and/or hair to catch fire. (Although that would be an added bonus
)