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General Discussions => Spunk => Topic started by: lisa on August 08, 2005, 11:26:44 am


Title: Penile Padlock
Post by: davepeck on August 08, 2005, 03:51:58 pm
hey, whatever floats your boat, as they say. :)
Title: Penile Padlock
Post by: lisa on August 08, 2005, 03:51:05 pm
Quote from: davepeck
nothing like a penile padlock story to get trey up and posting a little bit.. :lol:
WOW!!  I felt there was a great need to share this tale of woe.  I considered it more of a P.S.A than anything
Title: Penile Padlock
Post by: davepeck on August 08, 2005, 03:47:31 pm
nothing like a penile padlock story to get trey up and posting a little bit.. :lol:
Title: Penile Padlock
Post by: lisa on August 08, 2005, 03:44:38 pm
be careful!  i am thinking along the lines of silly putty in a hot car
Title: Penile Padlock
Post by: Jim Cobb on August 08, 2005, 03:43:34 pm
ew.
Title: Penile Padlock
Post by: SlimPickens on August 08, 2005, 03:42:48 pm
Quote from: lisa
after prolonged wear, wouldnt there be some sort of permanent stretching of sorts?
HA!!  I\'ll let you know in a couple weeks.
Title: Penile Padlock
Post by: lisa on August 08, 2005, 03:39:18 pm
after prolonged wear, wouldnt there be some sort of permanent stretching of sorts?
Title: Penile Padlock
Post by: SlimPickens on August 08, 2005, 03:22:09 pm
Quote from: lisa
i question the size of the padlock because most of them arent lightweight
you know what they say.  the bigger the padlock...

my theory.  this dude met someone on some crazy fetish board.  they met somewhere for some annoymous session of beating each other.  things got a little out of hand, maybe the key broke when he fell off the bed or something.  his new "friend" wanted no part in trying to explain this to the emergency folks->splitsville.  This guy walk around for 2 weeks trying to figure out how to get this thing off... almost trying a hack saw (something that should be nowhere near your stuff).  When he finally realized that it wasn\'t going anywhere, he made the call... drunk (cause you can\'t make that kinda call sober!).
Title: Penile Padlock
Post by: Spacey on August 08, 2005, 03:18:15 pm
Quote from: lisa
i question the size of the padlock because most of them arent lightweight


truth,

this is one sick thread...
Title: Penile Padlock
Post by: lisa on August 08, 2005, 03:13:41 pm
i question the size of the padlock because most of them arent lightweight
Title: Penile Padlock
Post by: Spacey on August 08, 2005, 02:54:28 pm
It\'s not that I don\'t think his story isn\'t legit. I just think that the "friend" doesn\'t exist, but this also raises another question, why would he break the key off if he did it himself.
Quote
The man, who was not identified, told them that he had the padlock around his testicles for two weeks.
The man said that a friend put the lock on while he was drunk and passed out. When he woke up, the friend was gone.

I would hate to be the detective investigating this one.
This is one strange **** story.
Title: Penile Padlock
Post by: ChrisF on August 08, 2005, 02:44:45 pm
Quote from: SlimPickens
lesson learned for all you crazy pervs out there, always use a combination lock when you\'re securing up your junk.

the broken off key makes me think his story is legit.
Title: Penile Padlock
Post by: SlimPickens on August 08, 2005, 02:41:49 pm
lesson learned for all you crazy pervs out there, always use a combination lock when you\'re securing up your junk.
Title: Penile Padlock
Post by: Spacey on August 08, 2005, 02:39:04 pm
Quote from: ChrisF
Quote from: SlimPickens
I\'m thinking there\'s definitely more to that story.  Crappy reporting!

is this even something that NEEDS to be reported? :lol:

How much do you think the locksmith charged? probably about 100 times what it would normally cost to get a broken lock like that open. i would love to hear the locksmiths reaction when he got the phone call. i would never believe a story like that because locksmiths probably get prank phone calls every once in a while.

 :lol:

so true
Title: Penile Padlock
Post by: ChrisF on August 08, 2005, 02:36:30 pm
Quote from: SlimPickens
I\'m thinking there\'s definitely more to that story.  Crappy reporting!

is this even something that NEEDS to be reported? :lol:

How much do you think the locksmith charged? probably about 100 times what it would normally cost to get a broken lock like that open. i would love to hear the locksmiths reaction when he got the phone call. i would never believe a story like that because locksmiths probably get prank phone calls every once in a while.
Title: Penile Padlock
Post by: SlimPickens on August 08, 2005, 02:22:09 pm
Quote from: alexanderzurflu
Quote from: SlimPickens
there\'s some crazy ass folk living in that state.  Bezerker, that\'s a subtle reference to you.

Also one of the most peaceful states, where people treat each other with more respect and friendiness than their Massachusetts neighbors, though I wouldn\'t want to live there.
NH does have it\'s nice points, but like many places it definitely has it\'s seedy underbelly.  That\'s what really keeps me going back there.  Oh, that and the always present dream that Seabrook Nuclear Power will have a meltdown while I\'m on the beach.  I wonder what my superpowers will be??

Massholes, enough said.

Quote from: Spacey
maybe it\'s just me, but I know that if a "friend" of mine put a padlock on my testi\'s when I was passed out drunk and he was gone in the morning, I would be hunting down that mofo and breaking that padlock off over his skull.

Why did the dude leave it on for 2 weeks?

I might be calling shenanigans on this one, I think this guy has some sick fetish.
Llike I said, the moment I woke up and discovered a padlock on my nuts, I would be searching for this "friend" not waiting to weeks for it to be taken off.
I\'m thinking there\'s definitely more to that story.  Crappy reporting!
Title: Penile Padlock
Post by: Spacey on August 08, 2005, 02:17:12 pm
maybe it\'s just me, but I know that if a "friend" of mine put a padlock on my testi\'s when I was passed out drunk and he was gone in the morning, I would be hunting down that mofo and breaking that padlock off over his skull.

Why did the dude leave it on for 2 weeks?

I might be calling shenanigans on this one, I think this guy has some sick fetish.
Llike I said, the moment I woke up and discovered a padlock on my nuts, I would be searching for this "friend" not waiting to weeks for it to be taken off.
Title: Penile Padlock
Post by: skalnbyc on August 08, 2005, 02:12:03 pm
Quote from: SlimPickens
there\'s some crazy ass folk living in that state.  Bezerker, that\'s a subtle reference to you.

Also one of the most peaceful states, where people treat each other with more respect and friendiness than their Massachusetts neighbors, though I wouldn\'t want to live there.
Title: Penile Padlock
Post by: Ant-Man on August 08, 2005, 11:56:32 am
Ya, I agree.  They breed em totally different up there, some inbread to.  :)
Title: Penile Padlock
Post by: SlimPickens on August 08, 2005, 11:38:10 am
there\'s some crazy ass folk living in that state.  Bezerker, that\'s a subtle reference to you.
Title: Penile Padlock
Post by: Spacey on August 08, 2005, 11:37:00 am
this is a great example of why you don\'t pass out before your friends.
Title: Penile Padlock
Post by: kyndkate on August 08, 2005, 11:36:03 am
Jim, that\'s unfortunate...;)
Title: Penile Padlock
Post by: Jim Cobb on August 08, 2005, 11:33:52 am
reason #8972632187 that i dont drink anymore.
Title: Penile Padlock
Post by: Spacey on August 08, 2005, 11:29:29 am
I knew there was something wrong with those New Hampshire folks.

Gives a whole new meaning to "Live free or die"
Title: Penile Padlock
Post by: lisa on August 08, 2005, 11:26:44 am
Police: Man\'s Testicles Locked In Padlock
Man Could Not Remove Lock For Two Weeks



BRENTWOOD, N.H. -- Emergency workers helped a New Hampshire man out of a difficult situation over the weekend after a friend apparently locked a padlock around his testicles.
According to the Portsmouth Herald, police reported that the 39-year-old man was intoxicated when they arrived at the scene on July 30 at about 3:40 a.m. The man, who was not identified, told them that he had the padlock around his testicles for two weeks.
The man said that a friend put the lock on while he was drunk and passed out. When he woke up, the friend was gone.
"Never in my 13 years have I seen anything like this," Cpl. H.D. Wood told the Herald.  The man told police that he tried to remove the lock with a hacksaw because the key had broken off in the lock.  He was taken to Exeter Hospital, where a locksmith removed the padlock. He was treated and released, and the hospital said he had no lasting injury.

Police said that they did not know the motive for the incident.


is that a padlock in your pocket...?!
too ridiculous