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One fat hen couple duck three brown bear four running hare five fat fickle female sitting sipping scotch six simple simon sitting on a stone seven sinbad sailors sailed the seven seas eight egotistical egoists echoing egotistical ecstasies nine nude nublians nimbly nibbling nuts gnats nicotine ten was and never was a fig plucker nor a fig plucker's son and I ain't leaving till this fucking fig pluckin's done now ask me if I am a turtle. (Tim) Are you a turtle? (Wolf) You bet your sweet ass I'm a turtle. Once a turtle, always a turtle!

Author Topic: To the Guy in the Islanders Bathroom  (Read 2309 times)

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To the Guy in the Islanders Bathroom
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A guy at work always goes to this place http://thedailycolumn.com/, this is one of the things he found:

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To the Guy in the Islanders Bathroom
Reply to: anon-117513973@craigslist.org
Date: Sun Dec 11 20:17:55 2005


Dear person in the Islanders Resturant bathroom,
While I don\'t make a habbit of calling people out on their movements I need to put this one out there. YOU SIR, need to start each and every day with a bran muffin. Do you have the bird flu? In 26 years on this planet I have never heard, heard of, had or otherwise experienced as voilent a **** as you took in the Islanders bathroom. It sounded like you were pouring out a 5 gallon bucket of ice water from 10 feet avove the toilet. My ears have never heard so horrific a sound as your liquid fecal being fired downward between pockets of pressurized methane gas. I was only there to wash my hands before eating my lunch...but my appetite was foiled by your ass-disaster. Moaning and weezing in your stall while wave after wave of dysentery ran from your bowels. What had you consumed?! Raw chicken, 2 bowls of chilli, 1 bottle Ex-Lax and a gallon of milk? You single handedly ruined every molecule of oxygen in the room. 30 minutes later back at work it still seemed like someone had wiped a log of **** under my nose.
"i heard that after he crossed the finish line he proceeded to wrestle down and pin a full sized grizzly bear"- ds673488

"if i listened to the distance on repeat, i\'d be wearing yellow jerseys like a motherfucker" - zuke

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To the Guy in the Islanders Bathroom
« Reply #1 on: »
now that\'s a call out
never trouble trouble till trouble troubles you

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To the Guy in the Islanders Bathroom
« Reply #2 on: »
wow!

I think I am going to be sick.
Love many, trust few and don\'t be late.

To the Guy in the Islanders Bathroom
« Reply #3 on: »
Hey....i Tried To Hold It!!

To the Guy in the Islanders Bathroom
« Reply #4 on: »
not as bad as ryan\'s steakhouse
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