Author Topic: Texts From Last Night (Read 1130 times)

jking · « **on:** April 29, 2009, 12:28:34 pm »

Texts From Last Night: Remember that text you shouldn

textsfromlastnight.com

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Dude, I woke up at my ex\'s house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.

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(303): How was Boulder?
(720): We\'re still here. We can\'t find _____.
(303): How\'d you lose him?
(720): He ate a bag of Molly, wondered off, and keeps calling saying he\'s at the zoo feeding the tigers
(720): The zoo is 60 miles away and we called just to be sure - they don\'t let people feed the tigers

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(925): so explain again why im purple
(617): no

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(619): Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!

you\'re welcome!! :biggrin:

Klout · « **Reply #1 on:** April 29, 2009, 12:41:40 pm »

(512): I pooped in a mop bucket.
(1-512): WTF???
(512): Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that

phirehead · « **Reply #2 on:** April 29, 2009, 12:43:21 pm »

"My room smells like vodka and shame"

^Best text ever

Klout · « **Reply #3 on:** April 29, 2009, 12:47:54 pm »

(765): just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn\'t look away.

(360): I was taking a **** and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.

Jim Cobb · « **Reply #4 on:** April 29, 2009, 01:01:19 pm »

Quote from: Klout;228592

(360): I was taking a **** and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.

sounds like every night of my short stint in college.

Me! · « **Reply #5 on:** April 29, 2009, 11:32:57 pm »

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(773): he\'s the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving

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(401): my mouth tastes like poor choices`

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(856): My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?