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One fat hen couple duck three brown bear four running hare five fat fickle female sitting sipping scotch six simple simon sitting on a stone seven sinbad sailors sailed the seven seas eight egotistical egoists echoing egotistical ecstasies nine nude nublians nimbly nibbling nuts gnats nicotine ten was and never was a fig plucker nor a fig plucker's son and I ain't leaving till this fucking fig pluckin's done now ask me if I am a turtle. (Tim) Are you a turtle? (Wolf) You bet your sweet ass I'm a turtle. Once a turtle, always a turtle!

Author Topic: Texts From Last Night  (Read 1113 times)

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Texts From Last Night
« on: »
http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/


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Dude, I woke up at my ex\'s house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.

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(303): How was Boulder?
(720): We\'re still here. We can\'t find _____.
(303): How\'d you lose him?
(720): He ate a bag of Molly, wondered off, and keeps calling saying he\'s at the zoo feeding the tigers
(720): The zoo is 60 miles away and we called just to be sure - they don\'t let people feed the tigers

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(925): so explain again why im purple
(617): no

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(619): Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!


you\'re welcome!! :biggrin:

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Texts From Last Night
« Reply #1 on: »
(512): I pooped in a mop bucket.
(1-512): WTF???
(512): Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that

Texts From Last Night
« Reply #2 on: »
"My room smells like vodka and shame"

^Best text ever

Texts From Last Night
« Reply #3 on: »
(765): just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn\'t look away.

(360): I was taking a **** and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
« Last Edit: April 29, 2009, 12:47:54 pm by Klout »

Texts From Last Night
« Reply #4 on: »
Quote from: Klout;228592
(360): I was taking a **** and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.

sounds like every night of my short stint in college.
Postcount +1.

Texts From Last Night
« Reply #5 on: »
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(773): he\'s the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving

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(401): my mouth tastes like poor choices`

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(856): My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
« Last Edit: April 30, 2009, 12:56:35 am by Me! »
Everywhere there\'s lots of piggies, Living piggy lives. You can see them out for dinner With their piggy wives, Clutching forks and knives To eat their bacon