**** application for raise of pay:
I, the
****, hereby request a raise in salary for the following
reasons:
1)I do physical labor
2)I work at great depths
3)I plunge head first into everything I do
4)I do not get weekends off or public holidays
5)I work in a damp environment
6)I don\'t get paid overtime
7)I work in a dark environment that has poor ventilation
8)I work in high temperatures
9)My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Reply:
Dear
****:
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have
raised, the administration rejects your request for the following
reasons:
1)You do not work 8 hours straight
2)You fall asleep on the job after brief work period
3)You do not always follow the orders of the management team
4)You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other
areas
5)You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated
in order to start working
6)You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
7)You don\'t always observe necessary safety regulations, such as
wearing the correct protective clothing
8)You\'ll retire well before reaching 65
9)You\'re unable to work double shifts
10)You sometimes leave you allocated position before you have completed
the day\'s work and if that were not all, you have been seen
constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious
looking bags.
Enjoy your day!
"
****