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Author Topic: Newsflash! Trey Anastasio to join The Breakfast  (Read 2934 times)

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Newsflash! Trey Anastasio to join The Breakfast
« on: »
This just in from http://www.phish.com

Less than 24 hours after Phish announced their stunning breakup, guitarist Trey Anastasio is signing on with up-and-coming jamband The Breakfast.  "I felt that there was nothing left to prove with Phish, and it is time to see if I can build another great band," said Anastasio from East Haven, CT, home of The Breakfast.  The Breakfast and Anastasio have signed a 2-year, $100,000 deal, making Anastasio the highest-paid free agent in jamband history.   Also included is a no-trade clause, meaning that Anastasio can veto any attempt by The Breakfast to trade him to another band.  The Breakfast already have a lead guitar player, band captain Tim Palmieri.  In order to facilitate the trade, Anastasio has agreed to change positions to rhythm guitar.  Asked about a possible onstage ego clash, Palmieri replied, "We are psyched to have a player of Trey\'s caliber in our band.  We feel that we can smoke any other band at any show now.  Trey and I are going to get along just fine both onstage and off."  The trade comes after a blockbuster trade with popular jamband moe. fell through.  In the original deal, Trey was to join moe., with moe. guitarist Al Schneir leaving to join Raq, and Raq guitarist Stoops joining Phish members Mike Gordon, Jon Fishman, and Page McConnell to continue Phish.  "Nobody would have known the difference," said a despondant Fishman by phone.  The deal fell through when the musician\'s union ruled that Trey joining moe. would diminish the value of Trey\'s contract due to pay cuts demanded by moe.  The Breakfast then swooped in and secured Anastasio\'s services while most bands were still reeling in shock from the announcement of Phish\'s breakup.  "I wasn\'t going to miss an opportunity like this," said Breakfast bassist and interim manager Ron Spears, who negotiated the contract.  "This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to sign a player of this magnitude into your band.  Looks like we\'re gonna need some tour buses and roadies."  The Breakfast have several festival shows booked for this summer, check out their dates at http://www.thebreakfast.net

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Newsflash! Trey Anastasio to join The Breakfast
« Reply #1 on: »
wouldnt that be nice, I think I would be a little wierded out by it. . . hmmmmmmm
[EVIL]I\'m sorry, I can\'t hear you![/EVIL]

Newsflash! Trey Anastasio to join The Breakfast
« Reply #2 on: »
i always suspected things like this were handled like the nba draft. now we have proof.
"i heard that after he crossed the finish line he proceeded to wrestle down and pin a full sized grizzly bear"- ds673488

"if i listened to the distance on repeat, i\'d be wearing yellow jerseys like a motherfucker" - zuke

Newsflash! Trey Anastasio to join The Breakfast
« Reply #3 on: »
haha! good one..

but raq\'s guitarist is machetti, not stoops.. stoops plays keys.

Newsflash! Trey Anastasio to join The Breakfast
« Reply #4 on: »
B smith is the man

Newsflash! Trey Anastasio to join The Breakfast
« Reply #5 on: »
Quote
Originally posted by axanodus
haha! good one..

but raq\'s guitarist is machetti, not stoops.. stoops plays keys.


Looks like he\'s quite the multitalented individual!

Newsflash! Trey Anastasio to join The Breakfast
« Reply #6 on: »
absolutely **** hilarious!!!   Nice work.

"In order to facilitate the trade, Anastasio has agreed to change positions to rhythm guitar."

YEAH BABY!   YEOW!

Newsflash! Trey Anastasio to join The Breakfast
« Reply #7 on: »
Quote
Originally posted by rustyD
absolutely **** hilarious!!!   Nice work.


Thanks man, that was whole point.  I posted the same thing on Sharing the Groove, and the fine folks over there launched themsleves into a tirade of name-calling and getting really mad, then by 5 posts later they were all taking sides and bashing on each other.  That was even funnier to me than the story.  The fish rots from the head down!!

Newsflash! Trey Anastasio to join The Breakfast
« Reply #8 on: »
Just for the pure COMPLEXITY of the thing, it is great.   I mean, it goes on and on and on, like you were on \'roids when you wrote it or something.  But it has so many subtle funny references and stuff.  

Great comedy.

Newsflash! Trey Anastasio to join The Breakfast
« Reply #9 on: »
Nice one, wolfie. :)
Originally posted by leith
Our overseas grassroots coordinator boombox!!! The Breakfast is spreading worldwide :)