I didn\'t write this but had to share.
\'Twas the night before thanksgiving, when all through the crowd,
Everyone was stirring, and yelling out loud;
The lights were hung from the rafters with care,
In hopes that Phish soon would be there;
I sat next to some jaded vets, all smug with their cred,
While drunkin\' halucinations danced in my head;
With my brand new phish shirt, and my flat brimmed cap,
Had just thrown up on another phan\'s lap,
When out on the crowd there arose such a cheer,
I sprang from my seat and spilled my beer.
Away to the Isle I flew in a hurry,
Had to stop for moment when things got blurry.
The lights went out and they started the show,
They opened with a song I didn\'t know.
Then I thought, "What would make this crazier?"
"Oh that\'s right I brought a green laser!"
I turned it on and with great pride,
Shined it right on the stage, from Page side.
These dudes in eagles shirts turned around,
And they yelled, and they shouted, and everyone frowned;
"Hey, Fucker! Hey, shithead! Hey, you green laser prick!
We\'re going to shove that thing up your ass real quick!"
I ran up the stairs and jumped over a rail!
I tried to get away but eventually failed.
They took my laser and pulled down my pants,
I tried to stop them but didn\'t stand a chance.
And then, in a instant, I could feel them shove,
Like mom taking my temperature, but without the love.
The crowd in the section cheered with glee,
As they pointed, scoffed, and laughed at me.
The dudes who did this, were happy with their work,
They high fived each other; and said "Enough with this jerk",
So after treating my ass like a grommet,
They walked away as Phish played Halley\'s comet.
I heard one of them yelling to all the gazers,
"Have a great show everyone, but to hell with those lasers!"
