The Breakfast.info
General Discussions => Spunk => Topic started by: FrankZappa on July 01, 2008, 10:18:59 pm
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For this experiment you will need:
*1 road bike (with clipping shoes and slick tires)
*1 large hill, preferably with sharp bends in it. (I used Brushy Plain rd / RT740 in east haven (http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&q=%2041%C2%B018%2754.25%22N%2C%20%2072%C2%B049%2714.11%22W&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wl))
*mud/sand on the road from rain within the last day or two
*1 guardrail
*at least one witness (peck)
*complete disregard for phrases like "slow down", "go easy", "be careful", etc.
directions:
1. Start down hill
2. Acknowledge, but don\'t appreciate the full candid of warnings about how sharp turns are and steep hill is from witness
3. Take first turn way too fast but recover, continue
4. Take second turn even faster even though you have slowed significantly (you should be doing at least 30mph+ at this point)
5. Cut wheel sharply and break to avoid guardrail. Break hard while on loose sand.
6. loose control
7. don\'t panic
8. stop thinking, it will only lead to bad places. live in the moment and let be what will be
9. wonder what you\'re going to make for dinner
10. due to slide, let bike turn to at least 45 degrees twoards the rail, continue braking.
11. come to a complete stop
12. acknowledge Newtons first law (I. Every object in a state of uniform motion tends to remain in that state of motion unless an external force is applied to it. ) and how it relates to the laws of conservation of energy (you cannot create or destroy energy, only convert it) Therefor, even though you have come to rest, temporarily, as soon as you release the break or try to straighten up, you will continue to move, most likely in a downward rolling direction. This is not advisable. To hold in current possition will force the full weight and speed (g-force) of body in motion onto my arms as they are holding the breaks in possition. Also unadvisable as you are currently falling sideways. Therefore,
13. As handlebars come in contact with guardrail, release right arm from handlebar and wrap it around rail
14. As handlebars fall below guard rail, release left arm and wrap it around other side of guardrail
15. Give guard rail your biggest bear hug.
16. Your body is now currently twisted almost completely sideways at the lower back. Lock abs and begin to arch lower back upwards to correct
17. Put yoga practice to work and do your best Salabhasana with arms still wrapped around rail and bike still attached to feet at clips:
(http://www.yoga-ology.com/Locust%20Shanna%20Hips%20Workshop.jpg)
18. Feel bike lift over your head, tighten grip on rail and think "This isn\'t really that bad, no one seeing this would think anything weird."
19. Hear witness yell out "HOLY SHIT!"
20. rethink second part of step 18.
21. loosen back, tighten abs and begin to lower out of salabhasana
22. bike will disconnect itself from body due to weight
23. kneel on ground
24. reattach chain that somehow popped off
25. acknowledge "I told you to go slow!" and continue, only 20 more miles to home. Marvel over how this is the first time anything like this has ever happened.
:lol:
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Thank goodness you didnt get hurt!
Yoga does amazing things for people.
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(http://www.dodgeintrepid.net/forums/images/smilies/worthless.gif)
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holy crap paul ryan
thats absolute insanity!!!!!!!! im glad you\'re alive! jeez whats with my crew gettin all knocked around lately?! take it easy man!!!
however, your post and recollection of your unfortunately hilarious string of events literally made me laugh out loud... and i thank you for that :)
on a sidenote, that\'s by far the coolest post todd has ever made
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sorry todd, all we have is whatever dave can describe to you. Personally, I\'d like to see it as well. :shrug:
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i, for one, am extremely glad paul didn\'t get hurt, because then i wouldn\'t be able to say that this was one of the funniest things i\'ve ever witnessed. it ranks right up there with 2 events from back in high school: tpalms walking out a door, slipping on a patch of ice, and going completely head over heels to the ground; and me, running after a frisbee on the guilford green at full speed and wrapping myself around a tree.
but this was pretty sick. they call this hill "snake hill" for a reason. paul was going by me, and i said "be careful! VERY windy!!" and the next thing i know, his bike skids and he\'s hugging the guardrail. thing is, i knew he was fine, just by the way he fell. it was extremely graceful. like a swan. it was like i was watching it in slow motion. crazy. definitely wish i had some sort of helmet cam or something. nice work, buddy!
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Too bad Dave hasn\'t perfected the camera mount for the bike.
Snake Hill is nothing to disrespect. Glad you\'re alive!!
thing is, i knew he was fine, just by the way he fell. it was extremely graceful. like a swan.
He must have taken a "falling class" too. :lol:
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You are stuntman!
I had that honor bestowed on me last year after a similar spill, I figured I should pass it on.
you- bicycle, guardrail
me- motorcycle, mercedes benz
Steps 7 and 12 are by far the most important. Glad you\'re ok.
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Jeez Louise... So glad you\'re ok!
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hope the 4000$ bike is ok
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If there is anything the bike needs come visit my shop in west haven, Baybrook Bicycles. Ask for me (Kris, owner, boss, asshole) and get a dot info discount.
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16-20 is classic!
I\'m sure you felt incredibly alive after this event.
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wow! Glad your not hurt!!
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the bike (and my legs taboot) are FINE. :wah: got a small rip on the right bottom side of the handlebar tape, and some light scractches in the right break that you can\'t feel but you can see. My arms are a little banged up, glad I had gloves on or my hands would probably be in a lot worse shape right now.
Otherwise, I\'m fine. :shrug:
krispy, introduce yourself sometime. I\'m up in wallingford so I usually get gear here or at bikers edge in bristol near where I work, but I\'ll stop in sometime to check your place out. :thumbsup:
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the bike (and my legs taboot) are FINE. :wah: got a small rip on
krispy, introduce yourself sometime.
a few people here know me, more than that do not. I don\'t post a lot but I usually lurk... You can find me at breakfast shows taping... or at any other local shows for that matter. Most of the people here that know me know me from porters tap room in westbrook RIP. I am good friends with all three of the former owners and was a regular (read constant) patron. I would work the door on occasion and did sound for most bands that did not bring their own FOH engineer. Stop by the shop sometime and say hi.
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you did this on snake hill? i\'m also sad peck didn\'t have a camera. glad i can get a good laugh out of it and you\'re not hurt!
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the bike (and my legs taboot) are FINE. :wah: got a small rip on
krispy, introduce yourself sometime.
a few people here know me, more than that do not. I don\'t post a lot but I usually lurk... You can find me at breakfast shows taping... or at any other local shows for that matter. Most of the people here that know me know me from porters tap room in westbrook RIP. I am good friends with all three of the former owners and was a regular (read constant) patron. I would work the door on occasion and did sound for most bands that did not bring their own FOH engineer. Stop by the shop sometime and say hi.
ok, I remember you from porters. nice.
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yea, so in other news dave was right. It just took a few more days than expected but my left bicept has a nice large bruise coming in that\'s been getting darker by the hour all day.
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Yeah, pretty much any time you put yourself to the test, you\'ll feel it two days later.
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how to hit everything else~
http://withleather.uproxx.com/post.phtml?pk=6277
:lol: