« previous next »
Pages: 1 ... 17 18 [19] 20 21

Author Topic: Oh, Billy! Cocaine is a helluva drug.  (Read 21540 times)

KEN RAFLOWITZ

  • Weird Ken Yankodic
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1685
Oh, Billy! Cocaine is a helluva drug.
« Reply #270 on: November 04, 2009, 06:53:13 pm »
Dear Oh Billy! readers,
    My name is Swami Bananahedananda.
I have figured out the deepest mysteries of the existence of life.
These will be shared to you all at no cost to you.
However, these divine answers came to me at a very high price.
Many years were spent staring into the depths of my navel.
I was unable to work during this long period of introspection.
While the divine being of truth revealed to me the free secrets of the universe,
my bank account has not developed to the heights of my soul.
To help me sustain my humble physical vessel, & share this free truth with you all,
my needs are small.
I am asking for a small donation at my workshops of truth so the divine may be able
to speak through me.
For a three hour talk, the divine is asking for a mere $2,500.
If you would like to recieve the greatest answers of existence,
please contact Mt. Rd. Wine & Liquor for more info.

Free coffee and donuts will served! Please bring your own cup and napkins.
May the Divine be with you!
« Last Edit: November 04, 2009, 06:55:56 pm by KEN RAFLOWITZ »
Logged

Gfunk

  • Papa^
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3733
    • http://www.myspace.com/weaksauce603
Oh, Billy! Cocaine is a helluva drug.
« Reply #271 on: November 04, 2009, 07:04:40 pm »
Quote from: KEN RAFLOWITZ;245391
Dear Oh Billy! readers,
    My name is Swami Bananahedananda.
I have figured out the deepest mysteries of the existence of life.
These will be shared to you all at no cost to you.
However, these divine answers came to me at a very high price.
Many years were spent staring into the depths of my navel.
I was unable to work during this long period of introspection.
While the divine being of truth revealed to me the free secrets of the universe,
my bank account has not developed to the heights of my soul.
To help me sustain my humble physical vessel, & share this free truth with you all,
my needs are small.
I am asking for a small donation at my workshops of truth so the divine may be able
to speak through me.
For a three hour talk, the divine is asking for a mere $2,500.
If you would like to recieve the greatest answers of existence,
please contact Mt. Rd. Wine & Liquor for more info.

Free coffee and donuts will served! Please bring your own cup and napkins.
May the Divine be with you!

A+ would read again
Logged
Facial Hair Would Be So Nice

cannontrip

  • breakfast greek
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 593
  • ʻāwikiwiki
    • b'fastin
Oh, Billy! Cocaine is a helluva drug.
« Reply #272 on: November 04, 2009, 10:20:56 pm »
Quote from: KEN RAFLOWITZ;245391
Many years were spent staring into the depths of my navel.


WHO TOLD YOU THE SECRET!?!?!?!

check sent.
Logged
♥♫∞

KEN RAFLOWITZ

  • Weird Ken Yankodic
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1685
Oh, Billy! Cocaine is a helluva drug.
« Reply #273 on: November 05, 2009, 08:02:27 pm »
The secret is within you.
Stare deep within your navel, look past the dirt and fuzz.
The navel is the doorway into the Divine Mother.
Only the physical cord has been cut, the spiritual cord remains.
Do not look below the navel or you will get lost in the evil snake.
Do not look above the navel or you will become what you do not seek.
The navel is the way, the light, and the truth!

 If you come to my workshops we can join our navels into one Divine cosmic bellybutton.
This is the only hope for humanity! Let us pray to the Mother navel for guidance.
                                                         Yours truly, Swami Bananahedananda
Logged

inthewhitelodge

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 652
Oh, Billy! Cocaine is a helluva drug.
« Reply #274 on: November 05, 2009, 09:32:01 pm »
Quote from: KEN RAFLOWITZ;245495
The secret is within you.
Stare deep within your navel, look past the dirt and fuzz.
The navel is the doorway into the Divine Mother.
Only the physical cord has been cut, the spiritual cord remains.
Do not look below the navel or you will get lost in the evil snake.
Do not look above the navel or you will become what you do not seek.
The navel is the way, the light, and the truth!

 If you come to my workshops we can join our navels into one Divine cosmic bellybutton.
This is the only hope for humanity! Let us pray to the Mother navel for guidance.
                                                         Yours truly, Swami Bananahedananda

"the thread will be torn!" yikes, I was beginning to really like the navel/passage of divinity dish, until that chord was severed...Oh well, someday, all goodness will again return to the land, as the body to the dust, and the spirit to the VOID. Damn, I need to sleep.
Logged
"When I hold you, I hold everything that is-- swans, volcanoes, river rocks, maple trees drinking the fragrance of the moon, bread that the fire adores. In your life I see everything that lives."- Pablo Neruda:wave:

bdfreetuna

  • Team Gladys
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4586
Oh, Billy! Cocaine is a helluva drug.
« Reply #275 on: November 06, 2009, 01:16:47 am »
Quote from: inthewhitelodge;245505
and the spirit to the VOID


The assumed finite nature of this concept is not implicit.


/night
Logged
Put the pointed pencil in the pepper-po and take a little sniff of the things below. :sadban:

> > > forums.alpinezone.com > > > Pelland Advertising

KEN RAFLOWITZ

  • Weird Ken Yankodic
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1685
Oh, Billy! Cocaine is a helluva drug.
« Reply #276 on: November 06, 2009, 08:40:34 pm »
Life is like a cupcake.
Mix in the ground wheat of the sustaining life force around you.
Add the yolk of the essence of life.
Pour in the milk of the Divine mother\'s breast.
Sweeten with the nectar which abounds above you.
Bake within the warmth of your heart.
Pour into the form of what you wish to be.
Consume this glorious treat!
Digest, and defecate in good health!
                                             
Swami Bananahedananda
« Last Edit: November 07, 2009, 09:45:30 am by KEN RAFLOWITZ »
Logged

KEN RAFLOWITZ

  • Weird Ken Yankodic
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1685
Oh, Billy! Cocaine is a helluva drug.
« Reply #277 on: November 07, 2009, 09:59:36 am »
Excerpts from Swami Bananahedananda\'s teachings:

Love is only a four letter word, until you fuse it with I & you.

World peace will only come when, I becomes you and me becomes we.

Money is the root of all evils, which is why I should relieve you all of this great burden.
(Please drop off your extra cash at Mt. Rd. Wine & Liquor, so I can continue the great work of the Divine navel.)
« Last Edit: November 07, 2009, 10:03:14 am by KEN RAFLOWITZ »
Logged

skalnbyc

  • Taqueria Overexposure
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5691
Oh, Billy! Cocaine is a helluva drug.
« Reply #278 on: November 07, 2009, 05:53:21 pm »
Hey Ken,

I spilled red wine on a white shirt last night.  OxiClean came through with the heavenly power of Broseph Mays and completely removed the stain.
Logged
Lobbying for a Kote>Beer Jubilee>Gypsy Girl>Prom 97>Vortex

KEN RAFLOWITZ

  • Weird Ken Yankodic
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1685
Oh, Billy! Cocaine is a helluva drug.
« Reply #279 on: November 07, 2009, 08:20:00 pm »
Caution!
The term Broseph Mays is not acceptable among certain Broseph followers.
Broseph is still a mystery force among The Breakfast crowd.
We are still uncertain who or what our Broseph is.
Let us pray the real Broseph be revealed!
Logged

leith

  • B'Fam West Coast Member
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8965
    • http://leithsd.googlepages.com/home
Oh, Billy! Cocaine is a helluva drug.
« Reply #280 on: November 08, 2009, 02:22:17 am »
Ken has Brosephitis for sure!
Logged
Worrying is like praying for something you don't want.

KEN RAFLOWITZ

  • Weird Ken Yankodic
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1685
Oh, Billy! Cocaine is a helluva drug.
« Reply #281 on: November 08, 2009, 08:38:43 am »
The song you sing today,
will be the song of tomorrow\'s yesterday.

Sex is like static cling.
The neg. charged cloth, clings to the pos. charged cloth.
The only way out of the static cling effect is,
three shots of Downy fabric softener twice daily.

The Universe is one verse,
in the poem of life.

The Divine Mother navel is within each of you.
Today, let us each remove the lint within our navel.
See it shine like a new born baby\'s,
after the cord has been cut and the bloody mess wiped away.

Swami Bananahedananda
« Last Edit: November 09, 2009, 08:22:10 pm by KEN RAFLOWITZ »
Logged

KEN RAFLOWITZ

  • Weird Ken Yankodic
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1685
Oh, Billy! Cocaine is a helluva drug.
« Reply #282 on: November 08, 2009, 12:36:55 pm »
Swami Bananahedananda is not a lunatic!
He just smoked too many banana peels!
Logged

KEN RAFLOWITZ

  • Weird Ken Yankodic
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1685
Oh, Billy! Cocaine is a helluva drug.
« Reply #283 on: November 09, 2009, 08:45:54 pm »
Dear Diary,
I had a bad day today because I had a very good bad day yesterday which made my day
today not as good as the day I may have tomorrow.
Yesterday I did a very bad thing. I messed up .info with a flood thread and got the
thread patrol on my tail and  he tried to make me get my thread flooding ass off .info.
I goofed on 50 .info threads and tried to dominate the .info thread board for the whole day.
I was doing really well until leith wanted to take over me taking over him on his own thread
flood which he almost did until I took over what he started to do!
Then the thread patrol caught on to our devious act of sabotaging .info like terrorists on .info turf.
He chased leith and I around the threads like a pitbull on a rat!
He wouldn\'t give up until we were broken and beaten down to nothing.
leith had posted this naked babe who I instantly fell in love with and wanted to enjoy her more but
then the thread patrol took over and wiped her out of my life!
I was so upset! Please leith, bring her back to me! I can\'t go on without her!
I got a feeling the thread patrol wanted her for himself. God help me!
Logged

Spacey

  • w0okadactyl fo\' life
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 14812
Oh, Billy! Cocaine is a helluva drug.
« Reply #284 on: November 09, 2009, 09:52:14 pm »
Best thread on .info.

Praise Broseph, ***** and the White Knights.

So mote it be.
Logged
Love many, trust few and don\'t be late.
Pages: 1 ... 17 18 [19] 20 21
« previous next »